My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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