She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
