I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
