Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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