What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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