i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
