I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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