i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
