two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
