i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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