elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
