Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
