Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
