summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
