Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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