then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
