If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
