Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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