It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
its liver damage thursday
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
