If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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