im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
