Don't you send me to vm
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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