i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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