How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
