Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
