Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
okay pat passed out under dana's car
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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