More tranny stories later!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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