if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
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