Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Boobs speak an international language.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
