Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Boobs are out for the taking
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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