Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Girls should come with a carfax report
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
