glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
