I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
