I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
