well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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