Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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