Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I love you. Go after that dick
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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