Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
