We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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