I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
