My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
