i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
