the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
3pm strippers are depressing
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
