Little spoons don't ask big questions
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
