what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
