It's like God shit irony all over that family
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
