You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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