I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
