The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
