Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
