She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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