Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
