She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
