also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
