she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
