I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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